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Chocolates filled with unidentified sweets, generic giant stuffed teddy bears, wilted flowers—pfft, who needs ‘em? Whether you just got dumped, you’re a proud member of the Heart Breakers Club or you just can’t even with one more Valentine’s Day Gift Guide, this anti-Valentine’s Day gift yourself guide is just for you.
Spell it out for him.
Carbs would never treat you like that.
The only person putting a ring on your finger is you.
Gone in a snap.
Big enough to lug around all of the hearts you’ve stolen.
Out of sight, out of mind.
Warm on the outside, cold-blooded on the inside.
Welcome to the jungle.
There’s nothing wrong with a little tough love.
Up to no good.
These boots were made for walking…
Those hearts aren’t going to break themselves.
You’re a smooth operator.
Not that you care or anything.
You warned them.
Melody Rose Rowan is the Director of Content & Strategy for Blender Networks, Inc. When she’s not managing blogs for FitMinutes, The-E-Tailer, Cartageous, InStyleRooms, NurturedPaws & Shoelistic, she’s getting her fix of breakfast tacos and Topo Chicos in her hometown of Austin, TX with her husband and rescue dog, Jake, and attempting to keep up with her own blog, Mustache Melrose.